It’s a subject I’m not very comfortable with, but I might as well just say it: sex.
I never really gave it much thought. Did everything with intense passion.
But I now realize things have changed.
Partially due to myself. In the beginning I was a bit afraid. You’re so conscious of your child being there in her tummy. Now I know I shouldn’t believe the myths.
I really won’t create a dimple in my child’s chin. But still. Every time we got undressed, I saw my wife’s cute belly. And immediately linked that to the baby.
You make up excuses about being tired and you already think of the future.
Knowing that her belly will continue to grow. And that the baby will be increasingly visible. Which will cause my problem to grow bigger as well. Or not, depending on your point of view.
I decided to look it up on the internet. And guess what? Women tend to complain plenty on forums. So apparently I’m not the only man who… you know. Two things really caught my eye. A lot of these women suspect that their partners don’t find them attractive anymore and that stings. I find her and her belly such a turn on, because she’s carrying our baby – conceived out of love. I like to prove this to her.
Another issue: it seems as though couples don’t talk much in their relationship. That’s something I’d like to learn from. So one night I decided I should talk about it. Big plans, little courage. Three days later I finally found the courage. Don’t worry about it, was her answer in an almost amused way. ‘You won’t give the baby a black eye’, she said – a pretty good alternative to the dimple-in-the-chin myth. I knew this, really. So we decided to do something about it. How horrible this sounds. Very narrow minded. I shifted my thoughts. The candles worked. The extensive foreplay helped too. My thoughts stayed with her.
Good, or so you’d think. And it is, but meanwhile a new problem has arisen. Never thought I would ever call it a problem: since my wife got pregnant, she’s insatiable. I already joked to a friend that she was like a black widow. A spider that eats her male partner after mating. She consumes me. Literally. Every night. In the kitchen, on the couch, in the bath tub, in bed, everywhere. At first you think: ‘we should’ve done this a long time ago’. But now, I catch myself creeping through the bedroom, hoping she will not notice me.
My friends tell me I should consider myself lucky. One even told me that he sat behind the computer for six months, trying to remember what a woman’s body looked like. Weird, because what about all the stories on the internet forum?
Anyway, I don’t have to count on a bit of understanding on his part, at least I get to enjoy ‘it’ every night. In the meantime, I made up a bunch of new excuses. Anyway, they’re just side effects, which I greatly exaggerate because I just want to spend a normal night on the couch again. However, I’m not quite comfortable with that. Those female thoughts still linger in my mind: ‘he doesn’t find me attractive anymore’. That’s why I decided to have a talk again. But you get it, right? I’m still…plucking up courage.